Superweek Sucks

Where’re you parked? Hold on I have a txt coming in…

Where’s registration? Do I need my license again? Are you warming up on the trainer or riding around? Have you ridden the course? What’s it like? Are they running late? How late? Seriously…Yes I just asked that.

Dude, what happened yesterday??! How’s Bob? Who else is coming? You got bottles? Yeah you can borrow my pump. Espresso Love…awesome.

This turn will suck. That one will too. Someone will attack here thinking they can get away. Dude….look at this corner! It’s all you. So what’s the plan? Hey man! You racing both? Yeah, I know…I’m an idiot. Yesterday? I sucked. You? Nice job! They lining up?

Hey, rider A is here. Look – rider B. Hey they’re is only ___ riders from xXx here. *start humming the evil empire music from star wars* How many newbs are here? Awesome. I had no idea Discovery, Phonack, Garmin and CSC were sending riders here for the 4/5 race today.

-official- You are racing __ laps. The wheel pit is over there. Make sure you talk to an official while in the wheelpit in order to get a free lap. Free laps end with 5 to go. Are there any juniors here? Raise your hands. You must report to rollout after the race. blahblahahahahahahahahahahhahahablahablbbbbbbbllllllaaaaahhhhhh *snore******

-Wisecrack #1- -laughter from the field- -Wisecrack #2- -not as much laughter-


*pain, tightness, suffering*

Anticipating that first corner. Are they going to nail it from the gun? Look for squirrels. We’re cool. Pick a line. Should I yell at him? Nah…let’s see if he does it again. Ok, I’m saying something this time, “Come on Team A….watch your line. I have to go to work after this.”

Accelerate. More. More. Brake. Turn right. Accelerate. Brake. Turn left. Quick right. Where did that wind come from? Move up on the outside guys…come on….

“I could be at home sleeping, or at least at work” *laughter*

Accelerate. More. More. Brake. Turn right. Accelerate. Brake. Turn left. Quick right. Oh look….a ‘break’. Don’t chase that guys. Come on. Damnit! Accelerate, Accelerate, Accelerate, Accelerate, Accelerate. Brake. Turn.

Haven’t drank. I should probably drink.

Screws getting turned. Sonnuva. Hold it…..hold it…..gogogogogogogogogo. UUUUUHhhhhhhhhhhhhh……keep it going. They’ll slow up in a bit. Hang on…..


Not again! SUCK. Should I just quit now? Why keep going? Oh that’s right, because I love torture. Think of it like cross. Just start picking guys off as they come off the back. Man they look like they’re going slow now.

Hey…I can work with them. “Hop on!” Where did they go?

Was that something behind me? When did I pick up 10 guys? Have fun with the sprint guys. Enjoy it. I’ll hold things down back here.

Thank god that’s over.

Wonder how long they’ll give us before they start the next one. Eat a gel. Where’s the other bottle? “How’d you do? AWESOME! Nice job? Me? Meh. You racing the next one? You coming out tomorrow? See you then!”

Are they lining up?

….yup….it’s superweek. I’m tired. I suck. I’m too fat for this sport….and I’m having a blast.

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